Learning to love

Many years ago, when I thought about my life with kids, I imagined our house to be The House. You know, the house where all the kids end up hanging out? I wanted to be the mom who could be mom to my own kids and Second Mom to their friends. I never wanted to be 'Cool Mom' or try to be buddy-buddy; I just wanted to be The Mom.

Fast forward to present day.

Turns out I don't really like other kids.

Well, that's not totally true. Let me back up for a moment: My husband and I made the decision to put our kids into public school for a number of reasons, one being that we are looking to build relationships with people. We've gotten to know a few families and have had the opportunity to have their kids in our home. One family in particular has visited quite a bit. The son is a classmate of our oldest, and his sister is two years younger. She can be a little.....much. Like when she opens my cabinet to ask for something to eat. Or when she tells me that my baby doesn't want to be in her high chair anymore. Or when she tries to take my 2 year old to the bathroom. I feel my ire rising, and feel the need to put her in her place. This is my house, not yours; keep your hands to yourself. You may be thirsty, but I will be the one to decide what we're going to drink, not you. I'm the mom, thank you, I'll figure out when the baby wants to get down.

Oh yeah. I'm getting territorial with a six year old. Not my finest hour.

Right in the middle of my snit fit, God tapped gently on my shoulder and reminded me that this is what I wanted. This is the reason that we chose public school, this is the reason that we wanted kids in our house. She doesn't need me to correct her, she needs me to love her. She needs me to show her Jesus. She doesn't know that's what she needs, nor does her brother or mother for that matter, but Jesus is what they need. And this is how I show Him, by loving her.

How in the world do I think I'm going to stand having all these kids in my house over the years? Kids come from all different places in life, all different backgrounds, all different personalities, habits, you name it. My job is to love them, to show them the One who can love far better than I ever can. My job is to give them the love that they might not get anywhere else. My job is to be a mom who is capable of all this love because I'm not concerned with besting a six year old, but rather I've laid down my self to take up Christ.

And that's The Mom that I want to be.