Renovation

I'm about 95% done with my first major renovation project. (And by 'I', I mean 'my dad'.)

We have two active boys, and one baby girl who recently became mobile. We do not have a big space indoors for them to expend their energy, stash their toys, play with their friends, etc. We do have a big unfinished basement. We do not have construction abilities. We do have a dad who does, along with a can-do attitute on our part (well, one of us at least).


The plan in my mind was simple, easy, and quick. The other grandparents invited the two boys to their house for a week in July. The timing couldn't have been better. Get Dad up here, slap up some walls, a little paint, perhaps some trim -- boom - finished basement. And the best part was that I could work along side him and learn how to do things myself.


My week of work was great. It was the start, I was full of energy and excitement for the project, and it showed all over me. I hauled lumber, carried sheet rock, made chalk lines, leveled for plum, drove screws into the studs. I worked 10 hour days and I sweated. And I loved it. It was coming along.


The week ended, we brought the boys home, and life got a little more complicated. Now we had two active boys here, a construction site in the basement, and all the toys piled up in the living room. 'No problem', I thought. 'I can go back and forth between the work and the kids.' It worked...sometimes. Probably more times, not.


And now we are almost a month into the project, a month of my house looking like someone took a pitchfork to it, a month of being absolutely exhausted, a month of splitting my time between my mom duties and my renovation duties and giving neither the proper due. I am tired of this. I want it over. I want to say, 'I don't care anymore - it's too hard - just leave it the way it is.'


When I near my breaking point, I have begun to say to myself, "It's worth it. It's rough now, but it will all be worth it at the end. Be patient." And I can overlook the drywall dust everywhere, the toys that are ankle-deep everywhere I step, and the general chaos that a project of this size brings. I can endure.


The most astonishing thing about this project, though, is how it has given me perspective in my spiritual life. I've been through the early days of being saved - the excitement, the can-do attitute, the feeling that I know what I'm in for, the confidence that I'm ready for what is to come. I've also been through the part where it starts to dawn on me that maybe I've bitten off a bit more than I could chew, and that it's a little harder than I once thought. I'm currently in the part where I think to myself, 'I'm tired of this. It's too hard. Just leave me the way I am.' And it's hard to say to myself, "It's worth it. It's rough now, but it will all be worth it at the end. Be patient." But that's exactly what I need to do.


My spiritual journey is not a quickie project, slap up some walls, a little paint, perhaps some trim, and boom - done. It's a lesson in endurance. It's a long project full of hard work and sweat. It's a life lived with heartache, and hardship, and chaos all around. But in the end, it's worth it. It's worth it. It's worth it.